Therapy Notes 07/08/2020
- Scheduled for the next two weeks and did some recap of two weeks ago.
- Talked about the panic attack and rash, and went over the things I dropped to lower my stress levels.
- Read the previous blog post and talked a bit about the process of writing, the two-day lapse, and the thoughts behind the second half.
- We talked about why role-playing is difficult for me at times, primarily the social aspect and feeling like I have to constantly remain vigilant when dealing with social groups of any kind.
- We discussed how that might related to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), how I felt like stressful RP stuff doesn't really seem to line up with my values or something. Kinda foggy here.
- We went over the positives and negatives of RP in terms of what I get out of it, and we talked some about what kinds of RP I enjoy the most, which I said tends to be one-on-one, collaborative storytelling. Specifically mentioned STAB (Star Trek: Above & Beyond) and the joy I get from joint-logs.
- Discussed the next steps after writing that blog post, and I don't know. I don't know what form 'processing my trauma' will take, and I don't currently have any concrete steps in mind.
- Said I couldn't avoid dealing with the abuse if I wanted to achieve my goals, but I don't thing that was the proper way to put it, as it again pushes this idea of achievement/prestige chasing to motivate my mental health, which I think is self-defeating.
- Had a thought about why avoidance is so appealing to me, and it might be because avoiding my shit is a choice I can make. It's something I can control, it's one of the few things I can make a solid, definite decision about and not face any external feedback.
- Talked about the panic attack and rash, and went over the things I dropped to lower my stress levels.
- Read the previous blog post and talked a bit about the process of writing, the two-day lapse, and the thoughts behind the second half.
- We talked about why role-playing is difficult for me at times, primarily the social aspect and feeling like I have to constantly remain vigilant when dealing with social groups of any kind.
- We discussed how that might related to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), how I felt like stressful RP stuff doesn't really seem to line up with my values or something. Kinda foggy here.
- We went over the positives and negatives of RP in terms of what I get out of it, and we talked some about what kinds of RP I enjoy the most, which I said tends to be one-on-one, collaborative storytelling. Specifically mentioned STAB (Star Trek: Above & Beyond) and the joy I get from joint-logs.
- Discussed the next steps after writing that blog post, and I don't know. I don't know what form 'processing my trauma' will take, and I don't currently have any concrete steps in mind.
- Said I couldn't avoid dealing with the abuse if I wanted to achieve my goals, but I don't thing that was the proper way to put it, as it again pushes this idea of achievement/prestige chasing to motivate my mental health, which I think is self-defeating.
- Had a thought about why avoidance is so appealing to me, and it might be because avoiding my shit is a choice I can make. It's something I can control, it's one of the few things I can make a solid, definite decision about and not face any external feedback.
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